<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>When you die God gives you a mandatory fursona by nikoeatsasbestos</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29685789">When you die God gives you a mandatory fursona</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikoeatsasbestos/pseuds/nikoeatsasbestos'>nikoeatsasbestos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Origin SMP</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Not Canon Compliant, Reader-Insert, WE curse a lot, and lazy, because i can and i will, i cant write lol sorry, i curse a lot, im new be nice but also roast me :), its all platonic, out of character a little, short chapters im a bitch, the mobs r more self aware i feel like i should mention that idk, they dont even show up for a bit but we're good, ur a furry im not joking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:35:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,574</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29685789</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikoeatsasbestos/pseuds/nikoeatsasbestos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>ON HOLD FOR LORE &lt;3</p><p>You get into a car crash. When you wake up you're in the middle of an empty field with no clue how you got there and probably a concussion.<br/>(life is short, drive fast and leave a sexy corpse babe)<br/>---<br/>yeah I suck at writing but whatever take this and enjoy hopefully. Inspired by the fact that I chose feline for the origin modsona thing even tho I'm allergic to cats.<br/>P.S this was definitely inspired by Laurel Wreaths &amp; Animal Teeth by Mistress_Of_Space_92<br/>PLEASE GO READ IT<br/></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF) &amp; You, Niki | Nihachu &amp; reader, Philza &amp; Reader, Tommyinnit &amp; Reader, Tubbo &amp; Reader, Wilbur Soot &amp; Reader, charlie slimecicle &amp; reader, origin!smp &amp; reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>151</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. listen.. it was only a dent in the car you can't even see it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>you (the reader) are gonna be about 5'9 (sorry short people) and between the ages of 16-18. Neither of those are important but it's nice to have a frame of reference.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The car accident hadn’t been your fault. </p><p>Sure, you had gotten behind the wheel despite only having a learners permit and sure it was technically your fault you picked up the phone call but pointing fingers never helped anyone. All you wanted to do was get in a few more hours for your test next month so all of your friends would stop giving you shit about asking for rides. So really, it wasn’t your fault that every muscle in your body ached into oblivion.</p><p>Also, you were pretty sure there was something broken in your butt. </p><p>Right. You thought to yourself, regaining enough sense to realize if you weren’t hurt you should probably call someone. Triple-A, maybe- you hear that name a lot on TV. </p><p>Come on. Get up and make sure you didn’t total the car. Then call your parents and say it wasn’t your fault or something- burn that bridge when we get to it.</p><p>With as much energy as you could muster, you opened your eyes and sat up. Slowly. Every muscle protested with a dull ache and the sun beat down on you. Hang on a second, the sun? You reached a hand up to shield your eyes, it had been raining like crazy when you crashed- there was probably a metaphor for that but you couldn’t remember it. How long had you been out? </p><p>A few seconds later you noticed there was something wrong with your hand. The back was covered in thick, soft fur. Your hand was misshapen too, the fingers shorter and thicker than before and adorned with soft pink pads. That couldn’t be right, you remembered shaving last night. Sluggishly, almost willing it to not be true, you trailed your eyes up your arm and along the patches of white, orange, and black fur covering your skin. The almost-human paw that used to be your hand flexed when you stretched it, revealing a set of razor-sharp claws.</p><p>That was when you ran your other hand (a paw, now?) through your hair. Brushing over two pointed ears sitting on top of your head. </p><p>And then you started screaming.</p><p>---<br/>
The sun was low in the sky when you finally managed to calm down. Only after a small panic attack and furiously trying to find one, just one spot on your body that wasn’t covered in mystery fur (which there wasn’t by the way), you managed to get your heart rate back to normal.</p><p>On the bright side, you still had your clothes. On the less bright side, you were missing all of your other belongings.</p><p>After that, you had begun to take a look around. Since you couldn’t do anything about the fact that you now had fur, ears and a tail (which you discovered was the source of the pain on your ass), the next option was to figure out why you weren’t at the scene of a car accident. </p><p>Maybe we hit the other guy so hard we got projected into a really big, isolated, patch of woods? With ears. And a tail. And fur.<br/>
Okay maybe not.</p><p>As of that moment, you were sitting in a sunny field, surrounded by patches of brightly coloured flowers and the occasional bee. The sun glared down at you from high in the sky, undisturbed by clouds and relentless on your thick winter clothing. Peeling off a few layers, you finally, finally, got up to have a look around. </p><p>The field was mostly clear, with one or two trees dotted nearby. Grass and flowers ruffled with an occasional breeze and you could see trees surrounding the edges. Figuring you’d rather get going before the sunset, you stretched out in an effort to regain feeling in your legs, and tail by extension. Sitting down for so long hadn’t been the best idea, apparently.</p><p>Ok. You rolled your shoulders and took a few tentative steps forward, not fully believing the ground would be real. What's the first thing you do when you’re lost? Vaguely, you remembered reading that following a stream would probably lead to people. </p><p>If there even are people here. Squeaked a small thought from the back of your mind.</p><p>You shook off the sinking feeling in your gut, there’s a time to be pessimistic and this wasn’t it. People or not, water was important, and right now you had none of it. </p><p>Taking a look around, you saw that mostly it was… more flower fields. Behind you, thick dark trees formed a wall between the sun and whatever was on the other side, but you could have sworn something rattled behind the thick trunks. On your left, the grass slowly turned to sand, complete with cacti and what looked to be small dead trees sticking out of the ground. Surely no water there, You reasoned. Which left pollen-allergy-hell or facing whatever those trees are hiding. Obviously, most people wouldn’t have to think twice about not going down the dark scary path of death.</p><p>A small wry smile grew on your face. For the first time since arriving, you almost laughed, “Good thing I’m not like the other girls.”</p><p>---</p><p>The sun was setting, casting pretty orange and pink rays along the ground where the trees parted. For the record, going into the forest hadn’t been worth the joke. So far it had been darker because of the trees, and every few seconds some animal would step on a twig and send you jumping. The sheep and pigs seemed nice enough, they let you pet them. But you didn’t approach the cows, the way they licked up their noses made you squirm a little. You had spotted a few wolves, but they growled when you approached them and you decided they wouldn’t be fluffy enough to risk injury.</p><p>Your ears twitched, picking up the sound of twigs crunching behind you. Feeling the fur along your back stand on end, you moved before thinking. Quickly, you spun around, hands stretched out and teeth bared in a mimic of something threatening. The sheep, who had caused the noise, didn’t even look up to acknowledge you. You lowered your hands and scratched nervously at your neck. Standing up from your low crouch and feeling a little bit embarrassed, you gave the glassy-eyed animal a nod and kept moving. Surely you’d get used to the sounds of nature at some point.</p><p>Stop being paranoid. You scolded yourself, walking a little bit taller to make up for your wounded pride. So far there's been nothing but animals, even you don't count as a human at this point- or an intelligent life form. </p><p>The forest only grew darker as you kept walking, occasionally pausing to check for any signs of life other than wild cattle and wolf packs. Despite the noises setting your nerves on edge, there was something a little bit nice about walking through untouched woods. You could understand why people went to Alaska, even if they had to deal with bears. You shivered, praying there wouldn't be bears here, too. The sun had long since finished setting, and the moon cast everything in a blue glow. To your relief, you could see pretty well in the dark, like wearing a few pairs of sunglasses on a bright day. Despite the increased sight, it was getting colder without the sun and you were glad you still had a thick winter coat. Pulling your jacket a little tighter, you forged ahead, determined to keep going and find someone. Anyone.</p><p>The thought of people brought the thought of bed with it. You couldn’t tell how long it had been since you set out, but the moon was high in the sky and you didn’t have enough coffee to pull an all-nighter. Exercise had never been your thing before now and you must have walked a good few miles. Right now, a place to sleep and some food would have to take priority. Despite how nice it would be to see someone, though you couldn’t say they would be thrilled to see you, it would just have to wait. Just as you stopped, your stomach growled in protest. Choosing to ignore that problem, you cleared away a small patch of ground to curl up on. Before you could search around for a flat rock or something to use as a pillow, the telltale sensation of a presence behind you made the fur on your neck prickle with apprehension.</p><p>It’s that damn sheep again. You rolled your eyes in annoyance. Who does he think he is?</p><p>“Listen, Mr Sheep.” You said louder than you intended, turning around and putting your hands on your hips. As you opened your mouth to give the apathetic animal a scolding, you instead came face to face with an arrow aimed straight at your nose.</p><p>You froze, unable to look away from the sharp point only a hair's width from piercing skin. For one brief and hopeful moment, you let yourself believe the archer was human and willing to help. That you had at last come across someone who could tell you where you were and why you weren’t sitting on the side of the road with a totalled Honda.</p><p>Then, as you locked eyes with the cold, dark sockets of a human skull, the rest of its bone body pulled the arrow back further and let go.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeah im gonna edit this when I find someone to read it (other than Alana, thank u for the amazing comments) so yeah.<br/>its not gonna change the plot just be better<br/>hopefully<br/>:)<br/>ALSO I know it said I'm not like other girls, I'm not meaning you (the reader) are a girl, I think its funny to make jokes about the 'im not like other girls' thing</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. so... running, right guys? :)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>you go for a light jog, make new friends, all in a days work as your local neighbourhood furry</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I marked it as mentions of violence, I wouldn't call them graphic but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that so you've been warned</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You ducked, obviously. You knew your new body had to have some perks, but apparently superspeed wasn't one of them. Yet for all your diving to the floor, the arrow still shot through your left ear and tore the thin flesh clean off.</p><p>Despite every fanfiction you'd ever read, you couldn't bite back the cry of pain either, landing on the ground with a thud. Gently, you reached up to touch the bleeding wound, almost forgetting for a second that you were in the middle of trying to not die. The ear was throbbing, a pain duller than you expected, but it could have been because of the adrenaline- or any leftover head injuries from the accident- that the pain didn’t register completely. </p><p>Above you, the skeleton rattled as it placed another arrow in its bow and aimed again. You shot up, faster than you thought you could, the skeleton didn't react- well, it didn't have a face to react with. Instead, keeping the arrow pointed at your chest this time, almost mocking you with how calm it was, bony fingers pulled back to fire and end your life.</p><p>You shot past it, knocking its bony rib cage with your shoulder hoping to throw it off balance and undo whatever black magic brought it into this world. You heard a sharp clacking sound, that could only mean it had been hurt and hopefully had paused from trying to pin you to the nearest tree. Exhaustion and hunger completely forgotten, you barreled through the woods desperate not to end on the edge of death for the second time that day. As you ran, more and more creatures emerged from the darkness. You didn't stop to study them, you didn't think you could if you tried. Fight or flight instinct had long kicked in and you couldn't punch your way out of a paper bag.</p><p>You skidded to a stop when a large black form blocked the path in front of you, holding what looked to be a red flower. Flowers were good, right? You prayed that meant the road-block would protect you against whatever horrors the woods would bring upon you, but as you looked up to meet two glowing eyes you knew you had made a mistake. </p><p>It screamed. Not just screamed- it's whole jaw unhinged, the creature vibrated, the ground around you seemed to shake in fear (though that last part may have been your imagination). You clutched your head and tried not to end up on the ground for the second time that night. For a few terrible seconds, the sound continued, unrelenting in the way it seemed to drill holes in your skull. </p><p>Just as suddenly as the sound started, it stopped. The black thing was gone, nothing in its place but a few floating purple things. You almost stayed to catch one, when an arrow whizzed past your ear. Looking over your shoulder, you saw a skeleton aim for you again as what could only be two or three zombies started shuffling towards you. The skin was peeling off their faces and you could see bone peeking out from clouds of flies, even from a few feet away you could smell the reek of rotting flesh. As they shuffled towards you faster than you were comfortable with, one of them lost a bottom jaw. Not even pausing to pick it up or look a little ashamed, they began to reach for you, the dry sound of bone being stepped on snapping you out of your shocked daze. </p><p>"You fucking suck at shooting, bro!" You shouted at the skeleton, congratulating yourself. That’s a witty one liner, right? You decided not to give them time to reply, unsure if any of them could talk anyway. Spinning back to where the black slenderman looking thing had disappeared, you turned a sharp corner around the trunk of the nearest tree. At this point you were full-on sprinting, if you didn't make it out of the woods and away from whatever horror movie special effects were chasing you soon, you would be dead for sure. You hadn't eaten since before the car crash and hadn't slept long before that.<br/>
All too soon, you could feel yourself begin to slow down, your body give in to its exhaustion and leave you at the mercy of whatever could reach you first. Just a little bit further, you told yourself. Take a few more steps and you'll find somewhere safe.</p><p>As if some benevolent god had heard you, the woods suddenly cleared and you stumbled into the clear moonlight. Pausing for a moment to catch your breath, you noticed your paws stained with blood. Your ear, you'd forgotten in the race to leave and now the pain was quickly returning. It didn’t matter, the woods were gone and so was the danger. You leant against the cool stone of the mountain, glad you were alive and almost delirious with relief. </p><p>Safe! Or so you thought until a groan from behind you made you jump out of your skin. The zombies, they had followed you out here and were now crowded on the ledge below you, grabbing the stone by your feet in an attempt to get up. You kicked one in the face, it only made a slightly pained noise and reached for your foot. Clearly, they wouldn't go down easily, and you had nothing but claws against a growing horde of undead. </p><p>You flattened yourself against the grey stone and looked around for something to try and beat them back with. As you spun your head wildly, searching but too panicked to take anything in, one of the grunters managed to pull itself up to your ledge, with half its body on and half of it hanging over. Clearly, they weren't the brightest bunch, but if you have them enough time there was no doubt they'd find some way.</p><p>"No place to go but up," You muttered, eying the ledge above your head before adding a little more hopefully, "adrenaline gives you strength… right?"</p><p>Only one way to find out. You jumped, grabbing onto the stone and despite the odds managing to get one elbow over the lip. As you struggled to pull yourself up, your pursuers began to grumble louder. Apparently, they had brains enough to know you were getting away. One yanked at your tail, causing you to squawk in surprise. You pulled it out of the clammy grip, still getting used to the feeling of having one more appendage, and swung one leg over the edge.</p><p>Now, fully standing on the ledge above, you peered down, they were making their way, but if you kept going you might be able to lose them. You were faster and smarter (probably) and you had much more will to live than they did. Turning back, you looked up and noticed the ledge was further up. Thankfully, it seemed to have smaller ledges leading up, almost like natural stairs. Quickly, you shuffled around the thin edge and onto each small outcrop. It was harder work than you imagined, and the makeshift path inclined faster than you were expecting, but before long the grunts and groans had receded, leaving you with the silence of the night and your aching body.</p><p>Still, you kept going. Determined this time not to be caught off guard by another attack. If you could find somewhere out in the open you could lie down and rest, just for a little while, to regain your strength. Then, once the morning came, you could climb higher up and see if you could spot any signs of life other than yourself.</p><p>"Yeah." You said to yourself, breathless but stirred on by the thought of lying down, "Just a little bit further."</p><p>Once you were at the top, which to your great relief looked to be empty of monsters, you lay down. It felt nice, so nice, to have the cool stone under you as you caught your breath. The night air was cool, and you were sweaty- again. You stripped off your jacket and t-shirt, lying there with your arms stretched out and face tilted toward the starry sky. </p><p>"This is nice." You said quietly, not even speaking to yourself anymore. </p><p>You had never seen a sky so pretty, without light pollution, the stars glowed and twinkled like sequins.  It was worth all the running, you thought, just to lie here and see something like this. You took a deep breath in, and let it out. There would be no more monsters, no more running. Just you, the sky, and very deep sleep.<br/>
---<br/>
The sun woke you. Judging by its position, it was a little bit after sunrise when it cast a very bright ray right across your eyes. Letting out a groan, you cursed at the damn ball of fire for trying to do its job and decided the day would have to wait five more minutes. You turned over to try and get a bit more sleep, or you tried to. Every muscle in your body felt like rusty metal. You could barely even move without wincing, so instead you lay there, now with half of your face awkwardly smushed into the ground waiting for the sweet release of sleep. </p><p>It didn’t come. Instead, you lay there for a little bit longer, trying to put off the inevitable and pretend you were back home in bed with a mountain of stuffed toys and a complete set of ears. </p><p>Oh shit- Your ear. You pushed yourself up off the ground, gritting your teeth with every movement, to raise one paw and poke at whatever was left. Since there still hadn’t been any water, you couldn’t check if it looked bad, but from the feel of it, you were missing the top half.</p><p>“Ouch.” You winced as you pushed down too hard and the wound very painfully reminded you it wasn’t done healing. If you left it for too long, it could get infected, and then you would lose the whole ear. Or worse, get blood poisoning or something. Nevermind if that was true or not, the threat of dying because of that stupid bone boy was enough to push you to your feet.</p><p>Looking around, you saw that you had slept on a large flat part of rock and dirt. You could see what looked like exposed burnt toast bits inside some stone near your feet, and up ahead, the mountain climbed even taller. You weren’t high enough to get snow, but a glance behind you showed you had a much clearer view of the landscape. Unfortunately, the thick green trees prevented you from being able to see into the woods. </p><p>“Once again,” You huffed to yourself, running a paw through your hair and carefully avoiding the half-ear, “No place to go but up.”</p><p>There’s a quote about that. Something about shooting for the stars? Ironic, you thought, considering you had almost been shot under the stars.</p><p>“That's probably what irony is,” You muttered, setting off with a purposeful march (as much as you could with your thighs working against you). Thankfully, this part of the mountain looked like a gentler climb, and you managed to pick yourself a pretty easy path up to the top. Or what could be the top, any further and you would just be asking to lose your balance and fall off.</p><p>When you reached a fairly large flat bit, you hooked your paw around the edge of the mountain and leaned out as far as you not-wanting-to-die would allow. Narrowing your eyes, you let out a whoop of joy as you saw not too far in the distance a river. A river! Finally, something was going your way! Now you just had to blindly hope it would be drinking water, or at the very least lead to someone. The universe owed you that much. </p><p>Feeling like a million bucks, you spun around -carefully, the edge was still rather thin- and readied yourself to climb back down. You were so relieved, at first you didn’t even notice the figure blocking your path. However, once your mind registered the tall, black, velvety looking torso, you once again went against any better judgement and raised your eyes. Slendy was back, and boy did he look pissed.</p><p>“Oh, you have got to be shitting me,” You whined, as it unhinged its jaw again and began to scream. You winced, the noise worming its way into your bones, but unable to get away as it blocked the only way back down. You could jump, maybe, but for all your tail and ears, it wouldn’t be worth dying of two broken legs. The thing, whatever you could call it, began to shake harder and harder. Involuntarily, you took a step back and your foot met open air. </p><p>In a last-ditch effort, you tried to reason with it, “Listen, buddy, I didn’t mean to look you in the eyes- honest! I was just trying to see if you could give me some help- '' It took another step forward and you raised one paw in defence, the other resting on the wall beside you for balance. Looking anywhere but its eyes, you kept rambling, “I get it, really. We just caught each other at a bad time. Sometimes eye contact is hard, but if we could just use our-”</p><p>You didn’t get to finish. The thing clutched one hand to its chest, still holding the flower, and the other shot out around your neck. You gagged, not expecting to be choked (and not exactly hating it either), until it squeezed tighter and tighter while you tried desperately to move your paws, willing them to scratch away what was stopping you from breathing. If there was one thing the movies didn’t mention about being strangled, it would be that it fucking hurt. Your head felt like it was going to explode, your vision was fading in and out as you tried to speak, to beg, to plead for mercy. All of the running, the fear, the fighting for your life against all odds had been for nothing, as the screaming black void lifted you higher off the ground, suspending you over open air.</p><p>So you gave up. </p><p>If this was how you were going to die, so be it. There had to be some kind of final ‘fuck-you' in not fighting the slender black fingers crushing your airway. You could feel the end coming near, the arms of death were open wide- and boy were you ready for a hug. As your vision swam, you lowered your gaze from the blue sky to try and meet the purple eyes of your killer. Wanting him to look you in the eyes as life left your body, to at least feel a little bit of regret.</p><p>White-hot pain ripped through the soft flesh of your stomach. You jolted, feeling metal rip through skin and embed itself in your torso. You tried to cry out in agony, the feeling of skin being ripped apart quickly overtaking the pain of being choked to death. Both feelings collided with one another, making you squirm in an attempt to make the pain stop, to just have everything go back to the way it was less than ten minutes ago. For what felt like aeons, you hung there, suspended over open air and writhing in pain.</p><p>The sound of an arrow piercing through what sounded like wet slime vaguely registered in your brain. As if you were in a dream, you looked down again and noticed an arrow sticking out of what you thought was the shoulder of the black thing. If you were more conscious, you would have noticed the arrow pierced right through, and the creature had stopped screaming in response. You would have registered the loosening grip around your throat and the way the black thing was getting further and further away as you plummeted to the ground. Instead, you dimly thought about how weird it was the black angry shape seemed to just poof into thin air, leaving behind something you couldn’t quite make out. </p><p>Just as your eyes rolled into your head, a blonde figure peered over the edge and gestured wildly at your falling form.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>did I do any schoolwork this week? No &lt;3<br/>but yeah if there's anything I can improve on please let me know I'm not used to writing fanfiction (so excuse my love of cliches and shortass chapters *cry*)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. enemies to lovers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>who was it that shot the black void? will we ever find out?<br/>no. no we will not.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You were getting really, really sick of waking up in pain.</p>
<p>This time at least, it wasn't your whole body aching and groaning. Instead, your throat felt like crumpled paper and even shallow breaths made your stomach move too much to be comfortable. Your head hurt, your wounds hurt, you felt like shit, and honestly, you would have preferred being really, really sore.<br/>For a few horrible moments, you thought the angry black thing had taken you back to wherever it lived. To eat you maybe, some sort of weird vore thing? A chill ran down your spine- but you had seen it disappear, and when things do that they're usually dead. Right? You hoped it was dead, whatever it was, it had a mean streak you were not ready to face again so soon. Plus the whole choking thing- definitely NOT as fun as you thought it would be. I mean, if you were going to get choked, it would be in a tension-filled sword fight from an enemies to lovers story or something.</p>
<p>That was when you heard someone grunting.</p>
<p>It interrupted your train of thought, reminding you that you still hadn't opened your eyes or checked to see why you weren't very, very dead. Arrows could kill, you were pretty sure, and being shot had hurt like nobody’s business. Plus, the void thing had thrown you off a fucking mountain. You, the same person who broke their wrist catching a volleyball in P.E, would not survive falling off a mountain. So that only left heaven- or more likely, hell. Which wasn’t nearly as warm as you thought, and there wasn’t anyone screaming. Did demons grunt?</p>
<p>"Hm." The grunting noise again. More high pitched this time and from a different direction.<br/>Maybe demons really did grunt, who were you to judge? Tentatively, you cracked one eye open, not quite sure what would make you hurt or not. You couldn't see where the noise was coming from, but you did notice that you weren't outside anymore. </p>
<p>Now, you were in a small, square room, judging what you could see from your back. Opening the other eye, you noticed it was mostly wood, with a fairly high ceiling and one small window shining light onto the floor. You shuffled up onto your elbows, ignoring the pain in your torso and instead craning your neck to take a closer look. <br/>You noticed you were lying in a bed with clean (white!) sheets positioned in the far right corner. The fact that clean sheets even existed at this point took you more off-guard than anything. The opposite wall had a wooden door that looked like it would give you splinters just out of spite. Over on the other side of the oak door, was a small wooden chair and matching table with a leather-bound book on top. Mounted over the door was a torch, causing you to start a little, worried about all the wood in the (WOOD!!) hut going up in flames. From your position on the bed, you couldn't see anything out of the window but clear blue sky. <br/>Just as you moved to pull the covers off and take a peek out, the door clicked open and you heard another grunt noise, quickly cut off by a look of surprise at you, now awake and about to make a break for it. It placed what it was carrying on the table with a clink, then dashed over to you and placed two firm hands on your shoulders, pushing you back towards the bed. Their brow crinkled and they made an angry noise, trying to stop you from moving and leaving whatever wood hut of horrors you had woken up in.</p>
<p>You frowned and opened your mouth to ask where you were, and why you couldn't look outside, but trying to speak only made the pain in your neck worse. Reaching one paw up to your throat, you tried to gesture that it wasn't working. Egg-man nodded, moving back and reaching for what it had been carrying when it walked in before returning to you. Holding it up so you could see, you saw it was a bottle of shiny red liquid, and he seemed rather proud to offer it to you.<br/>You looked at the bottle of definitely-something-poisonous, and back up at the bald person. They smiled and motioned for you to take it, but... they couldn’t expect you to drink that mysterious crap. You wake up in a dingy wooden hut, wounded and almost dead, whoever saved you doesn’t even talk and now they wanted you to drink that?<br/>Shaking your head, you shuffled back and tried to firmly push the bottle away from your face. Egg frowned, looking confused and honestly a little bit hurt. You wanted to tell them to piss off. There was no way you were going to throw away all the effort of trying not to die for something shiny.<br/>...<br/>It was very shiny, though. Pretty colour too, you had never seen liquid that looked like that.</p>
<p>No. You shook your head as much as you could- without making your neck hurt, of course. This was uncharted territory, keeping your wits about you was more important than ever. At least in the woods, there wouldn’t be anything trying to trick you, just eat or be eaten.</p>
<p>Seeing that you weren’t about to be easily persuaded, Egg shot you A Look. Placing the bottle back on the table, it turned away from you and, grumbling, walked quickly through the door leaving it open. You lay there, still propped up on your elbows, staring through the front door and wondering if it was going to come back with an axe or something. Maybe you should have just drunk the mystery juice, just to avoid whatever worse option there was.</p>
<p>Well, axe or not, the door was right there and you could- probably- walk right through it. Gritting your teeth, you moved your legs out from underneath the white blanket and sat up. Trying not to crunch your stomach or breathe too heavily made moving a struggle, but you tried to move as quickly as possible in case Egg came back. After what seemed like forever you finally made it to your feet, tears pricking your eyes and one paw on the wall for balance. Without the blankets, you noticed that- thankfully- you were still wearing your jeans and undershirt. Although you supposed they must have lifted it to get to the arrow wound. Trying not to think about it, you focused on leaving. Thankful the hut wasn’t that big, you shuffled towards the door already feeling a little lightheaded.<br/>Leaning on the doorframe, and carefully avoiding the suspicious wooden door, you paused to catch your breath. Looking down, you could see a dirt path leading from the door towards a cluster of wood and stone buildings. Fortunately for you, most of the buildings were on flat land- which would be easier to shuffle around on. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, the house had stairs. </p>
<p>Preparing for more movement than your wounds would allow, you had just put one foot on the next step when Egg returned. You looked up to notice him hurrying towards you with a panicked expression, he put one hand on your arm. You flinched, then grimaced when your stomach responded with a friendly stab of pain. Egg grunted, again- you were beginning to think he didn’t want to talk to you- and placed one hand on your back. Bristling a little, you shot him a ‘screw you’ look and kept moving down the stairs. <br/>No longer in the house and without support of the walls, you found yourself leaning on Egg’s arm, even clinging onto it when you lost balance. Now it was Egg’s turn to pull a face when you dug your claws in, you gave him an apologetic look and mouthed ‘sorry’ but he just motioned for you to keep going. Slowly, and painfully (for both of you), you made it down the stairs. The sense of pride you felt at making it so far was quickly left when you turned around and noticed you had barely moved a foot from the front door.<br/>Feeling warm with embarrassment, you turned back to Egg waiting for a reaction. He pointed down the dirt path, and following his gaze, you noticed a tall stone building that looked like a watchtower. Before you could figure out what Egg was trying to tell you, he let go of your arm and rushed off towards it. Leaving you stranded and a little bit put out in the middle of the dirt path.<br/>Pulling a face at the receding figure, you decided since you couldn't see any stairs a tour of the village would be achievable alone. Approaching the cluster of buildings, you saw that Egg wasn't the only one living here. The center of the village was bustling with life. You watched as the village people all went about their day, waving to one another and trading objects- you even noticed a few children running around. As you stood there, you slowly realized that not only were they all grunting, but they all looked like Egg. Aside from their clothing, every single one of them looked almost the same. You couldn't help but think of an army of identical twins as you noticed even the children bore an uneasy resemblance to the adults. Feeling a little bit out of place, you walked further into the center, trying to test out the waters and see if any of them would run at you swinging a knife.</p>
<p>After a few seconds of tense silence on your part, you decided to take a look around. There was a well in the center of the village, with a few storefronts for trading dotted around it. Further out sat houses and small farms with people in straw hats pulling up carrots and potatoes. It was… peaceful. The way everyone seemed familiar with each other, made your heartstrings twinge. You had been so busy since the car crash running for your life while trying not to freak out over having a tail, that you hadn't even stopped to think about home. Or how to get back there.</p>
<p>Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over and leave you a sobbing mess in the middle of the village. Trying to hold on to the last little bit of your composure, you reached up and wiped away any before they fell. The plan was working until you noticed one of the children fall over in front of you. Landing with a small gasp, it froze for a second before a skinned knee made it begin to cry. You watched, unsure if it would be over the line to try and console it when the nearest adult turned and scooped up the smaller version of itself. Patting the child on the back, the villager- this one in a white apron- began to rock it back and forth. This sight, of such love and care, made the dam holding back every emotion you had felt since the car crash, crack in two. Before you could even think to stop them, tears spilt down your cheeks and your nose began to run. Not wanting to sniff and irritate your throat, you stood there wiping away snot and tears, unable to look away. </p>
<p>You missed home. You missed it so much, all of your friends were there. Your soft toys, the blankets that smelled just right and the window that had the perfect angle for sunny afternoon naps. You missed the way the air smelled when it rained, the sound of snow falling on the roads and the way the sunrise looked on your way to school. It was all too much, you didn't know why you were here in this strange world but you didn't want to stay. Not for a second longer.</p>
<p>So that's why, when Egg tapped you on the shoulder and cautiously offered you the glass bottle from earlier, you didn't even stop to thank him before uncorking it and downing the lot.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry if the next few chapters aren't that great, currently going thru a FAT depressive episode :3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Monster energy gun is a good song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cottagecore wet dream or are you just bitchy because you haven't been on twitter for several days?</p>
<p>ft. a haunted duffle bag</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The mystery juice hadn’t killed you. It hadn’t knocked you out, there was no magic portal back home or sudden awareness of a voice yelling at you to wake up. To add insult to injury, it made you feel better. The pain from chugging the drink had disappeared almost completely, replaced by a warm fuzzy feeling. As you pressed a paw down on the arrow wound, you noticed it only felt like a sore bruise instead of an open gash. </p>
<p>Egg was positively beaming, as you handed the bottle back to him and he turned and grunted at the rest of the villagers… who were all staring at you. Not like you were some freak of nature with fur and a tail. A good looking freak of nature, but that probably wasn’t the first thing that crossed their minds. So to get any attention in this town, you had to cry and chug some Mango Loco Monster looking shit. Noted. As Egg motioned to the empty glass and back to you, the rest of the villagers gathered around and muttered to themselves. Fine- if they were going to stare at you, the least they could do is give you something to eat.</p>
<p>“Listen.” You said, trying not to show any surprise that you could even talk, “The glitter glue was nice and all, but I’m really, really hungry. So unless you want me to go feral and eat someone, food would be nice.”</p>
<p>They stopped muttering, and for a second you thought the (semi) joke about eating someone had been the wrong move. You gave a sheepish smile, about to start apologizing when one grunted to Egg, who looked at you and grunted back. Did they not understand you? Your voice was a little hoarse, sure, but it wasn’t that bad.</p>
<p>“Hungry.” You tried again, patting your stomach and pointing to your mouth, “I need to eat.”</p>
<p>This time, they seemed to understand. Just your luck- they didn’t speak English after all. It would have to be pointing and motioning until you figured out how to communicate in grunts. As you were wondering if it would be worth it to try and learn, one of the villagers in a straw hat came through the crowd, shyly offering you a carrot still covered in dirt. It was a little misshapen, and probably covered in all kinds of bugs- you didn’t care. God, it had been so long since you ate and that lumpy carrot was worth your weight in gold at this point. With a quick smile of thanks, you scoffed it down, </p>
<p>Glad to be well-rested, full, and completely healed, you stretched with a content sigh. Unsure what to do next, you looked at Egg. The rest of the villagers had gone back to what they were doing, only stopping to glance at you every now and then. </p>
<p>Still painfully aware of how much of a stranger to the community you were, you decided to occupy yourself by taking a look in the water of the well and seeing what had happened to your ear. Looking into the water, you did a small double-take. You knew your body had changed, it was fairly obvious, but seeing your new face was surreal. Peering in, you noticed your nose was small and pink, with whiskers on your cheeks and eyebrows. If there had been any question before, you knew now that you were definitely some kind of cat… thing. A rather fluffy one by the looks of it. Certainly not a catboy type, you had too much fur and no maid dress. You were still wondering what you’d be while tugging at your hair- which thankfully remained mostly the same- until a terrible realization dawned on you.</p>
<p>“Oh my god!” You howled at your reflection, “I’m a fucking furry!”</p>
<p>After a few minutes of trying desperately to find some loophole that made you NOT a furry, you saw Egg walking towards you with a straw hat. Blinking against the reflection of the sun on his shiny head, you waved, grateful for a distraction. He held out the hat, which looked to be the same one you had seen the farmers wearing earlier. You shook your head, trying to communicate that you didn’t need a hat since you probably couldn’t get sunburnt when Egg took it and put it on you rather forcefully. Grimacing a little, even though most of the steroids had healed the life-threatening wounds, your ear was still a little sensitive, you adjusted the wide brim. Turning back to the well, you smiled at your reflection, the hat looked pretty good- you could have been a real farmer. You were about to ask Egg if he thought it looked good too when a hand grabbed your arm and pulled you back into the sunlight.</p>
<p>“Hey!” You sputtered, turning around to tell Egg he was getting a little pushy. Not that you had been on your best behaviour, but you had the excuse of head trauma. </p>
<p>Three villagers in straw hats looked at you, one with their hand still wrapped around your arm. Egg smiled at you and said something to the ones in straw hats that made the two others start pushing you away from the well with more force than you were expecting. Your protests fell on deaf ears as you were eagerly pulled through the village with Egg following close behind. </p>
<p>Any questions you had were quickly answered when you stopped in front of a small farm. It was a strange thing, raised above the ground with oak logs in a way that you assumed had to be more effort than just digging and at one end was an orange bin filled with overturned dirt. Two of the farmers left almost immediately, going off to work on a different farm and leaving you alone with Egg and your new mentor. </p>
<p>“Listen,” You laughed, turning towards the people who had brought you there, “I know I was running earlier, but I’m really not a physical activity kind of person. So, I’m flattered but no, thanks.”</p>
<p>Egg just held out a pouch in reply.<br/>---<br/>The villagers assumed (correctly) that you weren't familiar with any farm work, so they decided you hopefully couldn't fuck up an easy job. After handing you the seeds, you didn’t put up much of a fight to work (hoping you wouldn’t overstay your welcome). Thankfully you managed to get the idea of how to plant seeds pretty quickly for someone who made it a point not to garden.<br/>The farmer pulled out the potatoes, and you planted the seeds in the dug up soil. If you ignored the fur-induced sweaty mess you had become and the dirt between caked into every crevice of your paws, you would almost say it was enjoyable. <br/>The pair of you worked mostly in silence, moving from one odd-looking farm to the next, working your way around the village. Every so often you would make a quip, forgetting that they didn't understand. Which was a shame, because you were being really funny, they were missing out. </p>
<p>After what felt like a few hours of carrying ever-heavier bags of vegetables, planting seeds and putting the rotten ones in orange-brown bins, your companion finally dusted off their clothes and motioned for you to follow them. Glad to finally have a break, you looked up and noticed the sun setting over the horizon. Huh. You had made it to your second sunset in this world, or third really- if you were counting the night you spent recovering. Picking up your bag, you followed behind the farmer, perking up at the idea of sitting down again. Maybe they would have more of that Monster, but it felt like it would be a little much for an aching back and sore knees.</p>
<p>"So," You said, not expecting an answer but wanting to ask anyway. "Is that it? I mean, I've stayed out overnight and personally I don't want to get shot again. I'm sure you don't either unless you're into that- I'm not gonna judge. Seen some weird shit already, would NOT be at the top of my list. But-"</p>
<p>Whatever embarrassing thing was going to come out of your mouth next was quickly cut off when you saw a giant ivory… thing, standing in the middle of the village.</p>
<p>You froze. Completely ready to have to fight for your life again, you grabbed the sleeve of your farmer companion and tugged them back. Farmer made an angry noise but you shushed them quickly, pointing to the ivory giant and slowly shuffling to the side behind a house. When you looked over, you noticed the farmer hadn't followed you, instead just standing where you two had stopped with the strangest expression on their face. You gave it a look and waved it over, trying to get the message across that you were both going to die very soon if you didn't leave.</p>
<p>"Would you get over here? You hissed, hoping they would get the message and realize the big white giant was definitely going to kill one of you. The villager just cocked their head to the side and continued giving you a look.</p>
<p>"Fine." You whispered, "Die. As long as it's not my fault!" </p>
<p>To be honest, you would have felt quite bad if they did die. But right now you had more important things to worry about than hurting some bald guy in a straw hat's feelings.<br/>Peering around the corner, you felt your stomach drop when you saw the ivory thing wasn't there anymore. Village life had returned to normal, thankfully there had been no casualties, but if the giant wasn't there… where had it gone? With your luck, it would end up crushing you, and then you really would be dead. How many times could you escape death before it decided you weren't worth the trouble? Ok, that was maybe a little overdramatic.</p>
<p>The farmer locked eyes with you, and you saw it flick to something behind you and your heart leapt into your throat. Right. Of course. Was this what it was like being the main character? Not as fun as expected. Your stomach sank as the hair on the back of your neck stood up and you slowly, slowly, took a few steps toward the farmer.</p>
<p>Just go slowly and it probably won't even notice you. Like a shark. Or was that about bears? </p>
<p>Painfully slow, you shuffled step by step towards the villager. Who was now looking at you with barely contained laughter you were too busy to notice. The giant was large and by the sounds of it, heavy. Unsure how you had missed the fucking shipping container walking around, you hoped if you managed to get a few feet away you'd have a decent head start… after several hours of manual labour and a lifetime of preferring to be inside. As you tiptoed past the villager, who once again ignored your motion for them to leave quickly, you heard the very faintest of metallic squeaks.</p>
<p>It wasn't much, the Tin Man had probably just shifted forward slightly from standing in one place too long, but that didn't matter to you. Jumping at least a few feet high, you broke out into a sprint and ran past the farmer, completely ignoring their panicked grunting and attempt to grab the back of your shirt. Racing around the corner of the nearest house, you had almost made it in the clear when you collided with something green. Plunging to the ground you quickly propped yourself up to make sure you hadn't hurt anything when you heard a clicking sound. Underneath you was what looked like a camouflage duffle bag wearing a fake moustache, arms distance away from your face. You stared, dumbfounded as it wriggled underneath you- the clicking sound was growing louder and more agitated the longer you stayed on top of it.</p>
<p>Something shoved you to the side, you lost balance and landed on your left arm with a thud. Watching from the dirt, you saw the green camo quilt stand up on four oddly shaped feet and begin to run away. The clicking sound receded, as what you had to assume was this world's version of a horse, ran towards the nearby group of trees. You lay there for a moment, squinting as the sunset shone right into your eyes but not wanting to look away in case it suddenly changed its mind and came back.</p>
<p>When it had finally disappeared from sight, you looked up to see Egg standing over you with a worried look on its face. He grabbed your arm and pulled you to your feet, turning you around to make sure you hadn't been hurt. You squirmed out of their grip, still not ready to be patted down by an almost stranger.</p>
<p>You jabbed a finger in the direction the haunted army jacket had left, “I swear to God. First fucking skeletons, then zombies and now whatever the fuck that thing was? Are you shitting me?" Dropping your voice and stepping towards Egg, you added, “If I fucking see a unicorn I am going to eat you. I can deal with fucking Monster that heals an arrow wound, but ONE unicorn and I’ll make you into lunch. I was joking before but I will crack you open and scramble the brain in your shiny little egg head. Understood?”</p>
<p>Egg nodded quickly, glancing once again in the direction of the sunset before turning and walking back to the center of the village. You paused for a moment, unsure if you were still mad at them, but decided there wasn't anywhere else to go. It had been a long day and you had proven to yourself that you couldn't survive alone. With the ivory Tin Man long forgotten and the setting sun throwing an orange light on the village, you sighed and followed after Egg.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>SOMEONE TELL ME SCRAMBLED EGGS ON TOAST IS NOT JUST A BRITISH THING</p>
<p>also why is clip studio paint so confusing fml</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. my beta reader keeps trying to get me to make the reader romance the villagers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>you go take a bath and thats a bad idea so you go home but that's a bad idea anyway you can't catch a break whats for dinner?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>let me know if you like the longer chapters or just think I'm super swag and cool ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a taxing first day in the village, you were glad to say the night so far had been uneventful. Egg had pulled you into the stone building down the path from their house. You were surprised to find it mostly empty, with the exception of a brewer sitting on a stone ledge. You figured they must run out of things to do without any internet, so getting drunk was probably the town pastime. </p>
<p>When you entered, Egg pushed you towards a shifty-looking ladder before eagerly climbing up. You stood at the bottom for a second, debating if it was worth it to try and sleep on the strange beer altar before deciding it was probably not a good idea to insult your host's religion. Trying not to look down, you gripped the ladder so tightly you felt claws dig into your palm. Thankfully, it was a short way up, as you only had to climb to the second floor before hearing Egg grunt happily.</p>
<p>Turning around, you saw him gesture at a bed, next to a small chest, and a candle positioned above it that you made a note to move later. They really need to be more aware of fire hazards around here. Egg beamed at you, glancing between the bed and your face, waiting for some kind of reaction. You were touched, he had clearly gone to some trouble, but you weren't even sure how a bed would be able to fit through the ladder hole. Better not to ask. After all, this place had archery skeletons, how unrealistic would it be for a bed to be where a bed shouldn't be?</p>
<p>You smiled at Egg and gave him a thumbs up. He nodded in reply, still looking very proud, and pointed to a neatly folded pile of clothes. Brown, just like everyone else's, but it would be better than the ones you were wearing now. You weren't sure if cats got BO, but better safe than sorry. As you picked up the robes, Egg quickly waved goodbye and headed down the ladder. Leaving you alone with one yellow-tinted window and a draft coming through the opening to the roof. You made another mental note to be extra nice in return for the hastily added tail hole and switched out of your dirty clothes as quickly as you could. Figuring if you could see the villagers, they could see you just as well. After you finished, you took a closer look out of the small yellow window. The villagers hurried about, gathering children and belongings before rushing inside and locking their doors. You would have thought that they’d compensate for the time it took to pack up by ending the workday earlier. Maybe the room in their brains for that kind of thinking was taken up by remembering what each identical sounding grunt meant.</p>
<p>With the quickly setting sun in mind, you decided it would be totally safe to take a trip to the roof. They probably didn't have flying things that wanted to kill you… right? Well, they probably did but you had proved from the beginning that common sense was for the side characters. And you wanted to see the stars- monsters be damned.</p>
<p>Grabbing the torch from above the bed, you carefully made your way up to the roof. As expected it was dark and looked more like a balcony than the flat surface you had been expecting. The view wasn't amazing in the quickly disappearing sunlight, if you really tried you could catch the last bits over the trees, but otherwise, it was dark and a bit chilly. The village below was quiet, so you figured the monsters only appeared in the woods. You were about to turn around when you heard a faint groan. Excited to see something from a horror movie without it trying to kill you, you put the torch upright on the ground (very far away from your robes) and leant as far as you could over the edge of the balcony. After searching for a second, you spotted it. One lone zombie shuffling towards the village.</p>
<p>"Not a great turnout, huh?" You said to the empty air, watching it slowly get closer. </p>
<p>As the zombie kept shuffling, you heard another groan from directly below you. For a second, you imagined they had the ability to climb walls. You pitched backwards, prepared to hastily-and unsafely- climb the ladder back down. Trying to calm your racing heart, you stuck your head over the edge again and saw the zombie was actually below you, on the ground, definitely not scaling the walls like Spiderman.</p>
<p>"Alright, maybe that was a little bit dramatic," you muttered to yourself, brushing hair out of your eyes as you watched the creepy motherfuckers below. </p>
<p>Thankfully you could see better in the dark than your pre-furry days, the two zombies recognized each other and began to walk together. Watching as they stumbled around, looking more like drunks with bad posture than the living dead, you figured maybe that was it. Everyone was inside anyway, surely there wouldn't be anything interesting to stay up and watch. About to turn away, you noticed one of the two had walked right up the steps to Eggs house and was thumping against the door. Over and over, it groaned and threw itself into the door, and you had seen that door up close- there was no way it would hold. The second zombie soon joined in, throwing itself rather mindlessly against the first, which was probably not the best way to go about it but you weren't going to point that out. </p>
<p>"Crap." You muttered to yourself, almost leaning forward enough to fall over, "I should help, shouldn't I? He's been so nice to me after all.” Then adding after a pause, “And I’m a good person- of course.”</p>
<p>You stepped back and grabbed the torch, sparing one last glance at Eggs house, you began to climb down the ladder. Getting down was harder than getting up, a couple of times your tail got in the way and your claws kept scratching the wood. Plus your hands were sweaty and you had no desire to drop the torch. </p>
<p>Reaching the ground floor in what was probably a world record, you threw open the front door and dashed down the pathway. There was no time to waste, Egg could be eaten alive any second now and it would be your fault. When you got within sight of Eggs house, you stopped so suddenly your torch threatened to go out. </p>
<p>Tin Man was there.</p>
<p>Your stomach dropped. You could barely stand your ground against two zombies, there was no way you could fight a metal giant. Standing there, you shifted on your feet, trying to figure out how to save Egg and not die. After the past day and a half, there was no way you would just let Egg die. You had to save him, at least so you wouldn't owe him anything later. To your relief, the Tin Man moved a lot slower than the zombies. You could probably rush in and set the living dead on fire before metal-giant-Tin-Man had time to react. Yeah, you could do that. Just be confident and try not to cry.</p>
<p>As you took one step forward, Tin Man grabbed the second zombie by the shirt. For a horrible second, you had a vision of him ripping the roof off and just dropping the zombie right in. Then, pulling it's arm back in a pose that reminded you of a Greek statue, the Tin Man catapulted the zombie 30 feet into the air.</p>
<p>You dropped your torch in surprise.</p>
<p>In the distance, you could faintly hear the sound of bones snapping as the zombie landed. Probably crumpled like an empty soda can, and very much not a problem for Egg anymore. As you processed what had just happened, Tin Man grabbed the first one and threw it in the same direction. You stood there, brain still trying to load an intelligent thought, as the metal giant turned away from Eggs front door and began walking down the street towards you.</p>
<p>Unable to move, partly from shock and partly from fear, you just watched as it slowly creaked towards you. Still not entirely sure it wouldn't yeet you as well, you stayed still as it passed by. It stepped on your dropped torch, extinguishing it and leaving you with only the faint outline of it's very, very, very large metal frame passing by. As it lumbered down the path towards more noises of zombies trying to kill villagers, you mentally added it to your list of ‘one of the nicer freaky motherfuckers’ and then shivered as the wind cut through your clothes. Your torch was out and for all you knew, there were more zombies on the way. Squinting to catch one last glimpse of Tin Man, you walked back to the beer church. All too ready for sleep, you wearily climbed back up and into bed. Turning to look at the moon through the window, you yawned. Shockingly, fighting for your life multiple times a day was rather taxing. You felt like you had experienced everything life had to give in the last few days. At least sleep would come quickly, then you wouldn’t have to think until Egg came to wake you up. Tomorrow would be better, there couldn't be any more surprises for you. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>“So. More farming today.” You turned from kicking at the farm to face Egg again, “I don’t think I was that bad yesterday, actually.”</p>
<p>Egg didn’t look at you, he was too busy grunting with a farmer and they had yet to hand you the straw hat. Not that you really needed one, but it was kind of hard to get into a farming mood without the whole cosplay- the hat was pretty much the only thing that kept you going. But they hadn’t even spared you a second glance since Egg came by to wake you up. You weren’t even sure if he wanted you there since you’d just followed him from the church without question. </p>
<p>“Fine, just ignore me. I don’t care or anything- doesn’t hurt my feelings or whatever.” Intending to pull a dramatic pose like in the movies, you wacked your hand against your forehead a little harder than you intended. Losing your footing and bumping into Egg, who in turn bumped into the farmer who dropped his seeds. They scattered all over the ground and the farmer glared at you- making you want to sink into the ground even more than you already did.</p>
<p>Egg grunted angrily and pointed in the direction of the center of town, pushing you away from whatever he and the farmer were looking at. </p>
<p>“Ok, ok, geez. I’ll just go make myself useful or something,” then adding over your shoulder as you walked away, “Sure hope I don’t fucking die! That would really be a shame wouldn't it?”</p>
<p>No-one replied so you kept walking in hopes of finding someone who would just let you help out. You weren’t entirely sure what the hell they even did in a town like this- Tin Man maintenance maybe? He sounded pretty creaky last night but it could be part of the aesthetic™ and you had to respect that.</p>
<p>“Maybe I should make being a furry an aesthetic. Is that a thing? Like furry but more fashionable?” You stopped to look at yourself in the well, you certainly didn't look fashionable. Your jeans had dirt stains and your shirt was ripped. Not to mention your hair was terribly greasy, could cats even get greasy hair? They had to take baths, right? You pulled a face as you imagined licking yourself clean and your reflection agreed with you. Next on the agenda was a bath. “I’ll be more helpful when I’m clean anyway. That’s just how it works.”</p>
<p>As you walked through the village, your mind drifted. There was still the problem of trying to get home. You couldn’t be sure anyone in the village would have anything on magic portals and shit. If they would even bother to look into something like that. This village was their home and they didn't want to leave as much as you had wanted to get into a car crash and wake up here. Not that you had chosen to crash the car, but with your luck, you’d end up spending ten years here. Then you'd wake up only seconds from the car crash and this would be an awful dream. Wouldn't be so bad, at least you wouldn't have a tail or one and a half cat ears. Which hadn't grown back- much to your chagrin. The Monster™ was only good for healing wounds and apparently didn't give you salamander type abilities as well. You had noticed you couldn't hear nearly as well out the missing ear, but the effect cancelled out whatever advanced hearing your furry powers had given you. Leaving one very good ear and one normal one. Perfect.</p>
<p>You scratched at your neck and remembered the goal of today was cleaning, not magic portals or car crashes or spending ten years in a coma dream. The sweat from yesterday was making you itch, so washing off was quickly climbing your to-do list. If you remembered what you had seen before The Void had tried to choke you to death, there had to be a river nearby. If you looked up, you could still see the mountain you had been violently yeeted off, and the villagers had clearly carried you from there. So it would be within walking distance but far enough that nobody would mind you skinny-dipping. You grinned and quickly glanced around the village. Your moping had gone unnoticed, the villagers were all continuing their daily routines as if you hadn't even come by. Good. They wouldn't notice if you left for a little while and by the time you got back, Egg would probably forgive you for almost pushing him into carrots. With a new spring in your step, you walked out of the village and toward your new cleaner self.</p>
<p>---<br/>You made it to the river in record time. The fields were empty and you had been so pleased with yourself you almost kissed the nearest cow, it had given you a wary look and stuck it's tongue up its nose. The sun was high in the sky and the grass seemed almost too green, with sunflowers as tall as you were and wild chickens. You had seen one lay an egg and just walk away- probably not what normal chickens did but you were scared if you looked too closely it would have a third eye or breathe fire. Who knows, you couldn't even be sure the cow was even normal. The two of you locked eyes and you nearly jumped out of your skin when it huffed. </p>
<p>"That's rude, you know." You said to the cow, "You can't just say shit like that and expect me to just take it. I’m a fighter, I’ll beat you the fuck up."</p>
<p>The cow gave you a flippant look and flicked its tail. Fine. If it wouldn't talk, neither would you. Turning away, you made your way down the riverbank until you reached the shore. It was about as muddy as you had thought it would be, but to your left was a ledge of rock that you could stick your clothes on. Stripping off as much as you could, you tried to pretend there weren't several wild animals watching you. Perverts. Just because they didn't wear clothes didn't mean they could watch you. Folding your clothes and sticking them on the ledge, you stalled at the edge for a moment. The water was going to be cold- you knew that. And you had read there was some benefit to cold showers, something about acne or hair follicles. Not that it mattered, this was a cold bath in a creek with fish and dirt. Probably not the best for your skin. </p>
<p>"Come on." You muttered, "Just jump in and you'll be fine. It'll be cold for like, two seconds and then-"</p>
<p>But you didn't finish, because the pervert cow from earlier had walked up behind you and pushed you right in.</p>
<p>The water was fucking freezing. Something slimy brushed your back and you tried not to scream. This was a terrible idea, you should have just lived with greasy hair. Not that anyone would have given a shit, all the villagers were bald. You could just tell them greasy hair was the way you were supposed to have it. And people from your world always smelled bad, but BO might be a little harder to write off. When something else passed by your leg this time, you jumped into action and began swimming frantically upward.</p>
<p>Breaking the surface, you gasped and reached up to wipe the water from your eyes. What had been a fairly warm day now felt frigid against your wet fur, and you sympathize with real cats. Having a bath was terrible. Locking eyes with the perverted (and cruel) cow from earlier. You stuck your tongue out at it before the cow flicked its tail again and walked back up the riverbank.</p>
<p>"You know what." You huffed, treading water, "You are the rudest fucking cow I’ve ever met. Just gonna throw me in the water without even buying dinner first? I have standards and you, sir, so don’t meet them."</p>
<p>You sighed and leant back into a floating position. Washing could wait, the sky was pretty today and the sun would warm you up soon. Plus, if you dipped your head just right, the water blocked out most sounds. Images of all the monsters you’d seen the last few days popped up before you could stop them. God, you had gotten yourself into a mess. Even if this was a coma, how did you wake up from something like that? So far there hadn’t been any clear way of leaving, and you weren’t about to try killing yourself. Getting choked by The Void had felt… too real. Some coma you were stuck in- get choked half to death and end up running into a haunted army jacket. Also, you couldn’t understand anyone and there were zombies. If you really thought about it, you couldn’t be dead. People who were dead couldn’t die a second time unless there were different levels of the afterlife for each time you died. Frowning at the thought of even weirder monsters and village people in the next afterlife, you sucked in a breath and dipped underwater again. Get clean first and then try and get home. Maybe you could ask Egg if he had any books on magic portals after all. Probably a long shot but better than planting carrots.</p>
<p>You had just finished running your hands through your hair when you felt a third, even more, slimy thing brush your thigh. You froze, you had never liked fish, with their unblinking eyes and gross little bodies. There was a reason they stayed in the ocean, even Mother Nature couldn’t stand their disgusting fishy vibes. Shaking your head, you figured this was probably a good time to leave anyway. Stupid fish, ruining a perfectly good bath in a freezing river. As you kicked back to swim up, you felt your foot connect with something very not fish-like. Before you could process whatever the hell that was, something yanked your tail, pulling you further away from the surface. Opening your eyes, you whirled around and came face to face with a dark green figure. With the water in your eyes, you couldn’t make out what it was until the figure came closer and you gagged. What had been a face was now crushed from where your foot had made contact, leaving crumpled bone and bits of skin floating around it. Its teeth were pushed into soft skin, and you could see where its skull had dug into what was left of its brain. You could vaguely make out where one of its eyeballs had popped out, left to float in the water with the nerves and bits still attached. </p>
<p>The blue-green shape gurgled and when you turned back to face it, one of its hands clamped over your face, pushing you even further away from the air you were now beginning to need desperately. Even if you couldn’t tell what its face looked like, you had no doubt the gurgler was pleased with how easy it had caught you. Your lungs began to burn, you couldn’t stay underwater much longer and you weren’t eager to test out the earlier idea of multiple levels of heaven. Reaching up, you dug your claws into its arm and tried to pry the hand off your face. It didn’t like that, gurgling again, its grip around your face tightened and your head hit the sand at the bottom of the river none too gently. Fuck. You thrashed, trying to hit it in the stomach or push it off you but anytime you tried, your feet just sank in. It felt hopeless, despite how easily you had crushed its face earlier, the grip it had on you was overwhelming. It felt like you were already dead, your vision swam and the feeling of the hand on your face was beginning to fade. </p>
<p>87 seconds. The thought popped into your head as you dimly recalled a conversation you’d had with a friend last week.</p>
<p>“87 seconds of what?” You had asked, not bothering to look up from the tv show you were watching.</p>
<p>“That's how long you have before you drown.” They had said, “I was reading about it for our beach trip.”</p>
<p>The beach trip. You two had talked about it for so long, and even if it was still the middle of winter, they were already planning. And, by the sound of it, also worried you would drown.</p>
<p>Rolling your eyes, you turned to face them, “So if I go underwater you're going to time me? Like a swimming instructor?”</p>
<p>They’d laughed, and you smiled as the memory faded and the reality of very quickly dying replaced it. You blinked, unsure if it was just delusion at this point, but the hand was gone- and so was the gurgler. As you realized this, you reached the breaking point and involuntarily you inhaled a lungful of water. It burned but you didn’t stop to worry about that- pushing as hard as you could manage you tore towards the surface, desperate to get air. Even after breaking the surface, you kept swimming until the water was shallow enough to kneel and promptly threw up. Kneeling there, barely strong enough to support yourself on your hands and knees, you hacked and coughed until you were sure most of the water was gone. Nothing felt better than the first sweet breath burning your throat after coughing for what felt like hours. Lungs burning, vision still a little blurry and butt-naked for all the world to see, you took slow, painful breaths until you felt alive again. </p>
<p>Painfully, you made your way to where you had folded your clothes and began to put them on. The sun was lower than you expected, somehow you had spent almost the entire day trying to take a bath, and if you didn’t head home soon you wouldn’t survive another night of running for your life. With your clothes sticking uncomfortably to wet fur, and your throat still aching, you trudged up the riverbank and back in the direction of the village.</p>
<p>It was a slow walk, leaving you plenty of time to think over how you couldn’t catch a break. Also to wonder if there would be any medical complications from almost dying, you could only hope there was more Monster juice back at the village. Your friend had mentioned something about secondary drowning- where the water builds up in your lungs- which you weren’t eager to experience. Not to mention you still couldn’t breathe properly, and you hadn’t tried to talk yet- even if it didn’t make a difference since the villagers couldn’t understand you anyway.</p>
<p>You arrived at the village as the sun began to set. All the villagers were beginning to pack up and none spared you a second glance. Feeling a little guilty for not helping out, you decided to go find Egg and see if he needed any help. Trying to tell yourself you just wanted to see if he was having trouble with anything, and not to check if he had missed you, you found him at the well. He was still talking to the farmer from earlier, as well as a third one you hadn’t seen, with an eyepatch and black apron. Egg noticed you and grabbed your arm to pull you into the conversation, you gave a sheepish smile and waved, trying your best not to look as shitty as you felt. The one with the eyepatch looked you up and down, paused for a minute, and said something to Egg that made them smile and nod enthusiastically. With his hand still on your arm, Egg went back to talking with the other two, leaving you to stand there awkwardly. Turning to look at the sunset instead, you wondered how long you could stay in the village. It had only been a couple of days, sure, but they hadn’t asked to take you in and you hadn’t made it easy for them. Head trauma or not- Egg was going to reach the end of his patience sometime. </p>
<p>If you couldn’t be sure they’d want you to stay, then you’d have to prove they wanted you around. Nobody wants to kick out the most useful village member, even if they were a bitch and a half. All you had to do was make yourself a little more helpful and a lot less attractive to homicidal creatures. Easy peasy. You turned back to Egg and the others with a renewed sense of determination, even if you had spent today trying not to drown, tomorrow would be a new day and a new you. </p>
<p>Nevermind the aching lungs, burning throat, and a slight sense of dizziness that still lingered. Hard work would distract you and then it’d just go away. Ignoring problems was your favourite way of dealing with them after all.</p>
<p>Egg finished the conversation with a nod and a handshake to both the farmer and Nick Fury (lovingly nicknamed by you), before turning to you and smiling. He looked behind you and frowned, pulling you back to the church. You stumbled, unsure what he could have seen, you tried to look behind you but Egg just yanked harder. It couldn’t have been the sun setting, you probably had a good half hour before it got seriously dark and nobody was finished packing up yet. But when Egg looked behind you he looked… afraid. </p>
<p>Maybe there was some kind of monster back there, but you hadn’t seen one out during the day- except for the drowner- and surely Tin Man would have noticed as well. You tried to slow down, Egg was going too fast and your lungs hadn’t recovered yet. Tears of pain pricked your eyes as you took breaths far too deep for your body to handle. He didn’t even look back, you two were almost at the door of the church when you dug your heels into the ground and yanked your arm back. </p>
<p>Egg turned around with a cross look, pointing to the church and grunting. You crossed your arms and shook your head, there was no way he could just cram you in that dumb stone building without giving you a reason. His eyes flicked behind you before he pointed more forcefully at the front door. You frowned, you said you would be helpful but this was just rude. You opened your mouth to tell Egg exactly what he could do with his damn finger, but before you could even try to talk- you heard someone shout something in what sounded like English, and then a very loud explosion.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Both of you froze. Any thoughts of telling Egg to fuck right off had disappeared. The two of you exchanged looks before rushing back to the center of the village. Well, Egg rushed,  and you moved as fast as you could without collapsing. </p>
<p>Arriving in the center of the village, your eyes fell first to the gaping hole on the side of the well, and then the small crowd that had gathered around it. For a moment everything was silent, the crowd stared solemnly at the hole and you hesitated behind Egg. Not sure where to put yourself, you stood a little off to the side and tried to blend in with the background. Egg let out a deep sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. Standing there for a second, you almost wondered if he was going to start crying and began to prepare an escape plan so you wouldn't have to comfort him. Instead, he grunted something to the villager next to him, who pointed toward Eggs house in reply. </p>
<p>Egg nodded, looking between the villager and the hole, before clearing his throat and addressing the crowd. Despite what he was saying, none of them seemed any downtrodden about the well. However, as Egg talked, one by one the villagers nodded before walking quickly away from the crowd. Even the children had been sent off with a task, though you couldn't imagine what they would help with. Not understanding a thing, you had slowly begun to shuffle back towards the church. Your chest still hurt, it was getting late and you probably wouldn't be much help with fixing a well anyway. The villagers had thought correctly when it came to farming so they would probably assume your lack of any skill applied to all areas of work. Egg was still talking to the few who had stayed, so you decided to head off to bed and see if there was anything you could help with in the morning.</p>
<p>As you walked down the path, you suddenly remembered the shouting noise you had heard before the explosion. It had sounded like English, though at the time you couldn't make out what they had been saying. Maybe something like "watch out" or "get out of the way of the gigantic explosion". That's what you would have said, but there wasn't anyone else in the village who didn't communicate through grunting. Unless the villagers had been playing some mean trick on you. They were certainly dedicated to the joke- you hadn't heard one lick of English come out of any mouth except for yours. It must be hard to just grunt all the time,  plus they had held up really well when faced with your incredibly funny jokes, so they were definitely good actors. Maybe this was all like the Truman show. You grimaced and kicked a stray rock as you thought about how embarrassing it would be to be on a prank TV show.</p>
<p>Then your hand went to your throat. No. There was no way this was some shitty TV show. There had to be laws against trying to murder people, and it would be way too graphic to show someone being forcibly drowned on live television. Unless this was some weird black market shit. Which would half explain the fact that you were a furry. Someone probably paid a lot for this but they missed out on the opportunity to start a cat maid cafe.</p>
<p>“I would be a good cat maid.” You croaked to yourself, testing out your voice, “Like femboy hooters and shit.”</p>
<p>As you reached the front door of the church, you noticed movement over by Egg’s house. That was weird. You were sure he hadn’t left the well, and you would have noticed if he passed you. Figuring there was probably a shortcut around the back, you paused with one hand on the doorknob. Either you could go inside, and pretend you hadn’t seen him… or you could swallow your pride and try to be a good person. Offering comfort had never been your strong suit but he had brought you back from the brink of death so it would only be polite to try. </p>
<p>"Fine." You said to yourself, "I'll go over and say 'wow bummer that your drinking water is mostly gone- let me know if you need anything!'. And he won't understand me because he doesn't speak English but it's fine because he's pretty good at getting the general vibe of things so it'll only be a little bit awkward."</p>
<p>With your very solid plan and knot in your stomach, you turned away from the door and took a deep breath. Marching towards the house before you could chicken out. </p>
<p>As you got closer, you noticed the movement had mostly stopped. The door was still open but whatever was inside definitely wasn't as active as it was before. Just your luck. As soon as you go to comfort someone, they go to bed. With the door open. Which is totally safe and smart to do in a world full of zombies that try to eat you. Well, if you couldn't tell Egg you felt bad about what happened, you could at least close the door. Being eaten alive would be a bad ending to an already bad day. So you slowly stepped up the stairs, trying not to wake Egg, and put one hand on the door. Peering in, just to make sure he wasn't secretly crying, you instead saw something going through Egg's chest and another sitting on the bed. Both of them were very obviously not the bald villagers you knew so well, but you didn't get time to process what they were instead. As you stood there, one hand still outstretched for the doorknob, both of them looked back at you.</p>
<p>For a moment, all three of you were very still. Feeling a little like a deer in headlights, you willed yourself to stay as still as possible. The two had followed the same train of thought, as the small wooden shack was suffocatingly quiet as everyone waited for someone else to do something. You didn't want to be the one to break the tension, scared they would be another bloodthirsty killer. The side-effects of almost drowning still painfully present. </p>
<p>Fortunately, it wasn't you who broke the silence. As in one deft movement, the blonde one by the chest picked up a shiny looking sword and stood facing you.</p>
<p>Then he yelled "New mob!" and charged.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yes this is a few weeks late in my defense I am very sexy and cool <br/>(didn't beta read the last bit sorry lol I'm tired and I tried to write... good)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. announcement C:</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>been a while hasnt it? <br/>tl:dr I'm going on hold :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hi ! Sorry about not updating for... a long (ish) time. haha<br/>anyway, school and mental health have been weighing down on me, not to mention I'm trying to balance an active art account (totally don't follow me on twitter @/diogeneseats) so I'm going on hold! I want to wait for more of the lore to develop before I introduce everyone else and make this a proper reader insert. At first I was gonna make this a separate story that was like a whole thing but the lore sounds totally cool and I want to follow it- when I actually do watch the streams. <br/>Anyway, I'll be back when that happens so hopefully around when my summer break starts and I have more time to write :) <br/>thanks for reading and see you soon !</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>